Real Teachers




Real teachers --


grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have been seen grading in church.

cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.

drive older cars owned by credit unions.

clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.

can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.

have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.

have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.

can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.

never teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders.


always check their backs if a student has patted them on the back.


check the seats of all chairs before sitting.

know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.

know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.


are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.


know the shortest distance from  their classroom to the faculty bathroom – or any nearby student ones,  when they can't hold it any longer.

can "sense" gum. 


know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day.

are solely responsible for the destruction of the rain forest.


have their best conferences in the parking lot.


have ridden in the back of school buses more than any student (or administrator).


spend school-year Friday nights at the school supervising games or dances.


spend many Saturday mornings in detention -- in the school study hall supervising students who are serving detentions (for actions committed in the teacher’s classroom).

buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.

will eat anything that is put in the workroom/teacher's lounge.

know secretaries and custodians run the school.


have hearts that ache when they think of their “limited” successes for they know too well they are never good enough.


spend summers taking more courses to be better teachers or by supplementing their teacher's salary by driving trucks, picking fruit, painting houses, cutting grass, supervising city swimming pools, driving cabs or doing whatever to pay for their own kids’ fall school expenses.


serve on many community projects, especially so during disasters like floods and tornadoes.

hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen;
know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely non-expendable.


 --- Author unknown